JACK PALANCE

He was so good in a couple of movies that we have to overlook the dozens of Italian potboilers and 50-plus American dogs. Jack Palance died at 87. He deservedly won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor in City Slickers (1991). Billy Crystal and two friends try to get their lives back on track by going on a cattle drive.  Palance is the hard-bitten trail boss, Curly. Lots of funny stuff with an overlay of purpose that doesn’t hurt a thing. Ignore the terrible sequel foisted in 1994. 

And when you talk about Western bad guys, forget Jack Elam, Roy Barcroft, Eli Wallach et al. Nothing will ever measure up to the menacing hired gun, Jack Wilson, played to absolute perfection by Jack Palance in the wonderful Shane (1953). I watched Shane again not long ago, and boy is it still good! Alan Ladd underplays the heroic Shane so well, and there is that delicious undercurrent of forbidden romance between him and settler-wife Jean Arthur, plus the hero-worshipping kid, Brandon DeWilde. Your American education is not complete without a viewing of Shane. 

In Monte Walsh (1970) Palance is believable, playing way out of type, as a good guy. This is one of the better the-old-west-is-dying-ain’t-it-a-shame movies. Lee Marvin is the main guy, and the main girl is: Jeanne Moreau! (The French hottie with the bee-stung lips).

In Sudden Fear (1952) Jack Palance is once again in his comfortable niche as a classical meanie. He is an actor who is hired by his ex-wife Joan Crawford. She finds out he plans to kill her. Talk about bad hires! She tries to foil his satanic plans by her writing skill. Many twists and turns, and I will not give away what finally happens. 

The Halls of Montezuma (1950) is so old that  Palance is billed as Walter Jack Palance, but it’s still a darn good WWII flick. The Marines are about to invade a Pacific Island (you pick!). There are flashbacks to the civilian lives of the participants, including Mr. Palance, Richard Widmark, Karl Malden, Robert Wagner and Richard Boone. 

All of the films in this column are available on  DVD.  All are fine for 10 and up. 

                                                             WHO SAID THAT?  

                                                         Part 6

        There have been five Who Said That columns spread over several weeks. Is it possible that Mr. Movie has one more? Why, yes! Some of these are really easy and some are really obscure, but I hope all of them are fun!

1- As if!

2-Carpe diem.

3-I’m having an old friend for dinner.

4-There’s no place like home.

5-If you build it, he will come.

6-Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.

7- English MF. Do you speak it?

8-What, like it’s hard?

9- By all means move at a glacial pace. You know how it thrills me.

10-That’l do, pig. That’ll do.

11-Yippe Ki Yay MF

12-Keep your friends close but your enemies closer.

13- The stuff that dreams are made of.

14- It seemed like a good idea at the time.

15- Love means never having to say you’re sorry.

ANSWERS

1- Alicia Silverstone in Clueless (1995)

2- Robin Williams to his pupils in Dead Poets Society (1989)

3- Anthony Hopkinis as Hannibal Lecter in Silence of the Lambs (1991). He does not mean this in the best way...

4- Judy Garland as Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz (1939)

5- A spectral voice in Field of Dreams (1989) He came

6- Judy as Dorothy (again) in The Wizard of Oz (1939)

7- Samel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction (1994)

8- Reece Witherspoon as Elle in Legally Blonde (2001) She means law school

9- Meryl Streep as Miranda Priestly to poor Anne Hathaway as Andrea Sachs in The Devil Wears Prada (2006)

10- James Cromwell as Arthur Hoggett to Babe (1995)

11- Bruce Willis as John McClane in Die Hard II (1998)

12- Al Pacino as Michael Corelone in Godfather II (1974)

13- Humphrey Bogart as Sam Spade  in The Maltese Falcon (1941)

14- Richard Barthelmess as Cary Lockwood in The Last Flight (1931) (Earliest I could find, but this quote has been uttered numerous times). 

15- Ryan O’Neal as Oliver Barrett to Ali McGraw as a dying Jenny Cavilleri in Love Story (1970)

Grades: 8 or less Poor. 8-12 really good. Over 12- genius. 

                                                      THE OTHER STEPHEN KING

Stephen King can do much more than just scare you. He is one of our best story-tellers. Hearts In Atlantis (2001), with Sir Anthony Hopkins in his usual top form, is  based on a King story and there’s nary a monster to be found. It’s an excellent coming-of-age film with the merest hint of the supernatural. There are several other fine films based on King’s non-horror work available for viewing.

In Misery (1990) James Caan is a highly successful romance novelist whose car crashes in the middle of nowhere. Kathy Bates (Oscar, Best Actress) comes to his aid, takes him into her home and begins nursing him back to health. She happens to be Caan’s biggest fan, and she also happens to be crazy as a bedbug. Very gradually we are made aware that she isn’t going to just release him back into the world when he recovers.  

Kathy Bates is back, and just as good,  in Dolores Claiborne (1995).  When Bates is accused of murdering her aged employer, daughter Jennifer Jason Leigh comes home to help. Through flashbacks, layers in the story are peeled away and we are nicely surprised not only by the resolution of the murder accusation, but by whatever happened to Bates’ abusive husband.  

Stand By Me (1986) is simply as good a movie about young boys as has ever been made. Four pre-teen boys go on an expedition, chasing a rumor there is a dead body at their destination. Whether there is or not is beside the point; in this film getting there is all the fun. Rob Reiner’s sure-handed direction and an excellent screenplay make these young guys achingly true.  Kiefer Sutherland, River Phoenix,, Richard Dreyfuss and John Cusak ( now in their 50's)  are all good in this true and remarkable film.

In The Green Mile (1999) Tom Hanks is a prison guard and Michael Clarke Duncan is a condemned prisoner who may have a gift for healing. 

Best of all (so far) is The Shawshank Redemption (1994). Tim Robbins (who always seems to pick good parts) is a banker sent to prison for murdering his wife and her lover. Morgan Freeman (another consummate pro) becomes his friend and mentor. Robbins’ creative tax planning  makes him very popular with the warden and some of the guards. There are several endings, so don’t go away before the credits. 

All of the movies in this column are available on DVD. None are suitable for children under 12.

                                                                            PIXAR

                                                                      Part 2

          As promised, here are five more solid gold Pixar movies, personally guaranteed by Mr. Movie. 

The Incredibles (2004) takes super heroes to a whole new level. Each member of their, okay, incredible family has a fantastic talent. Father Bob has superhuman strength and endurance. Mother Helen can shapeshift her body. Daughter Violet can make herself invisible and also can generate force fields. Son Dash has superhuman speed. Baby Jack-Jack can do most anything. Forced into early retirement, they rebound and demonstrate the need for super heroes. 

Cars (2006) is about, of course, talking cars. Laugh out loud funny most of the time. The somewhat complicated plot involves a championship race, deliberate forcings of crashes and other outrageous behavior. But the real hero of his film is the wrecker Mater, hilariously voiced by Owen Wilson. The film premiered at Charlotte Motor Speedway and went on to gross millions. It has spawned several sequels which are not nearly as good. 

Ratatouille (2007) proves that Pixar can make anything charming, in this case, rats! Remy is a wannabe chef who secretly bails out a young trainee’s mistakes. When he is discovered, at first the plan is to kill him. But that all changes when he demonstrates that (1) he can talk and (2) he can really cook up a storm. Strangely, the colony of rats in hiding in their attic home over the restaurant, are not creepy. Patton Oswalt voices Remy. Ian Holm, Brian Dennehy, Janean Garofolo and Brad Garrett are among the many voices chiming in. 

Can a robot be funny? Loveable? The hero of a movie? Why yes and Wall-E (2008) is all of the above. Left nearly alone in a post apocalyptic world, the hero is a robot designed to clean up the mess left by lazy, destructive humanity. He survives by pirating parts off other robots. He finds love (?) or something when he is discovered by Eve (Extraterrestrial Vegetation Evaluator) and they both find a sinlgle living plant that may save the world. 

I have saved for last what for me is the very best of this bunch: Up (2009). Widower Carl, voiced by Ed Asner, refuses to leave his cliffside home and go to an assisted living facility. Instead, he uses all the helium balloons he has stored from his business and floats his house into the sky. Unknown to him, he has a reluctant stowaway: Russell, a dorky kid in a scout uniform. They are floated to South America where they encounter a strange large flightless bird Russell names Kevin. They also meet a golden retriever (Dug) who wears a magic collar that translates his thoughts into English. And like your dog, he is completely sidetracked by squirrels.  Many adventures follow. The high point is Carl’s recollection of his marriage and early time with his late wife Ellie. If you can watch this part of the film without tearing up, you are made of iron! 

All of these movies are available on DVD and are fine for everybody.

                                                 A GOOD TIME TO BE HAD BY ALL

Pixar is a computer animation company started by George Lucas. The true genius of Pixar is not in the animation, which is excellent, but in the stories. The first five full-length Pixar films are absolutely guaranteed by Mr. Movie to appeal to everyone in your house, regardless of age!

Pixar’s first feature, Toy Story (1995) has already grossed over 325 million dollars. It is, in a way, an old story- toys come to life (see, for example, The Nutcracker). But the film is completely fresh.  Woody the cowboy has been the favorite toy of Andy, but may be replaced by spaceman Buzz Lightyear (“to infinity and beyond!”). And the other toys, which must resume inactivity when a human comes around, are a joy, from the toy soldiers to Mr and Mrs. Potato Head. Woody must be rescued from the horrible Sid next door and his nightmarish hybrid toys.

Most sequels fall flat. But Toy Story 2 (1999) is even better than the first one! In this film, cowboy Woody is mistakenly sold at a yard sale to a fiendish toy dealer. Off to the rescue again are Buzz and company. The trip through the toy store led by Tour Guide Barbie is alone worth the price of admission.

Between those two came A Bug’s Life (1998) in which Flik, a good-hearted ant, tries to save his colony from the evil grasshoppers by hiring tough killer insects. 

Unfortunately (or fortunately, for us) he hires a circus troupe by mistake. Full of delicious sight gags and great one-liners!

Despite its title, Monsters, Inc. (2001) is a delight from start to finish and won’t scare even the scardiest little kid. The Monster Factory is powered by the screams of kids frightened by monsters in their closets. But this ideal world is threatened when a real little girl named Boo inadvertently enters the factory and wreaks havoc all around.  Boo is, well, the definition of cute. 

Last but not least comes Finding Nemo (2003). Nemo is a delightful little orange clown fish with a flipper defect who gets lost with his blue companion, a fish with no short term memory. From sharks who have joined Fisheaters Anonymous to schools of fish who arrange themselves in hilarious patterns, this is a joy all the way through.

In any Pixar film, be sure and watch all the way to the end of the credits, because the outtakes are really great. How can an animated feature have outtakes? Well, because Pixar put them there! 

Disney bought Pixar in 2006 and so far (cross your fingers!) they haven’t ruined it. 

All of the films in this column are now available on DVD and all are suitable for all ages. Mr Movie has another bunch of Pixar winners for next time.

                                                          WHO SAID THAT? 5

Yes, yet another helping of movie quotes. These are the hardest yet. Answers at the bottom. No cheating! If you get number 15 you’re brilliant! 

1- This is really a great city. I don’t care what anyone says!

2- Would you be shocked if I put on something more comfortable?

3- I don’t know nothin’ ‘bout birthin’ babies!

4- My first wife drove me to drink. I’ll always be grateful to her.

5- Years from now when you talk about this- and you will- be kind.

6- In spite of everything, I still believe that people are good at heart.

7- When I die, in the newspapers they’ll write that the sons of bitches of the world have lost their leader.

8- I like to watch..

9- I’m not bad. I’m just drawn that way.

10--All right, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up.

11- The only question I ever ask any woman is “What time is your husband coming home?”

12- Round up the usual suspects.

13- To infinity...and beyond!

14- Beulah, peel me a grape.

15- 24601.

1- Woody Allen to Diane Keaton in Manhattan (1979)

2- Jean Harlow to Ben Lyon in Hell’s Angels (1930)

3- Butterfly McQueen to Vivian Leigh in Gone With The Wind (1939)

4- W.C. Fields in Never Give A Sucker An Even Break (1941)

5- Deborah Kerr to John Kerr in Tea And Sympathy (1956).

6- Millie Perkins in The Diary Of Anne Frank (1959)

7- Vincent Gardenia in Bang The Drum Slowly (1973)

8- Peter Sellers in Being There (1979)

9- Jessica Rabbit (Kahleen Turner) in Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (1988)

10-Gloria Swanson in Sunset Boulevard (1950)

11-Paul Newman to Patricia Neal in Hud (1963)

12-Claude Rains to his police officers in Casablanca (1942)

13-Buzz Lightyear (Tim Allen) in Toy Story (1995)

14-Mae West to Gertrude Howard in I’m No Angel (1933)

15- Jean Valjean (Hugh Jackman)  confessing his prison number in Les Miserables (2012)

15- Brilliant! Mensa candidate

12-14 Cinephile

9-11 Fair

                                                               ELVIS 

I watched Elvis (2022) on DVD the other day and I remembered why I would never go to a theater to see it. It is waaayyyy tooo looonnnngggg! Two hours and thirty-nine minutes. It’s actually not that bad if it didn’t wear you out. Unknown Austin Butler is just right as The King. (He does his own singing and dancing). And Tom Hanks proves he can play despicable.  I’m sure a lot of his fans love that much of Elvis, but it’s sort of like ten pounds of chocolate all at once. Nevertheless I have heard from Elvis fans wanting some guidance through his 30-plus movies. Not all of them are terrible. Just most. So here goes.

Elvis’ filmography is contained in 10 short years- 1957-1967. And in that time span the studios frantically rushed to cash in on his popularity. The results are some truly awful movies and a few that aren’t so bad. 

I’ll begin with King Creole (1958). It is based on a Harold Robbins story, A Stone For Danny Fisher and in addition to Elvis, has Walter Matthau and Carolyn Jones. It is directed by Michael Curtiz (Casablanca) and was a commercial and critical success. Elvis later said his role as Danny Fisher was his favorite. Danny drops out of high school and works to support his family. They move to New Oreans and Danny winds up singing at the King Creole club. After several fight scenes and several songs, it all ends  pretty well. 

Flaming Star (1960) stars Elvis as the son of a Kiowa mother and a Texas rancher father. He happily works at the ranch until the Kiowa indians start raiding settlers in the area. He is caught between two worlds and the film is about his determination to find his way between. At Elvis’ insistence, two of the four songs were cut from the film as he wanted to be taken more seriously as an actor. Though not a great commercial success by Elvis standards, the film was well received by most critics and audiences. 

Viva Las Vegas (1964) has Elvis as a Formula 1 race car driver intent on winning the Las Vegas Gran Prix but needing money to buy a new engine for his car. The beautiful and famous Ann-Margaret is on board as the love interest and there are ten song and dance numbers to rev up the film. 

Jailhouse Rock (1957) was Elvis’ first film and one of his best. This film, together with his legendary appearance on the Ed Sullivan show (from the waist up!), sealed his place as the number one rock and roll star of his time. Okay, maybe all time! The movie stars Elvis and nobody else you ever heard of. It begins with him doing time for manslaughter and developing his singing and dancing. The famous scene in the prison was one of his best. The songs were recorded later and dubbed into the film. Elvis lip-synched them! 

Well, Elvis fans, it’s pretty much downhill from here. There are 27 more Elvis films and none of them are very good. All of the movies in this article are available on DVD. And all are fine for all ages.